OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
