Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
