do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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