I think my vagina is haunted
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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