addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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