As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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