38 yer olds are good kisserssss
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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