Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
