You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
