I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
