She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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