Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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