at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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