I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
