Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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