i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
