these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
