is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
