I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
