i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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