I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
