just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize