Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize