hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
