So drunk its hurt
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
