i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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