I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize