You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
