we're blogging at a bar
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
