When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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