Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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