How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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