sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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