I bet he comes in French.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
