Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize