forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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