I want to walk on stilts...naked
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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