Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
where are my eyebrows?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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