saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
