And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
