Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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