i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
