I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
