He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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