I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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