once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
