Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so explain again why im purple
no
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
