What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Houston, we have a blender
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
