No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
