So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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