Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
