so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize