So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
