btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
