dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
