It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
