once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
