I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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