the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We are two peas in an std pod
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
