do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
