Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Even my vagina gasped.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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